So Many Beads, So Little Confidence

I’ve been accumulating beads and beading accessories for 3 years or more, never as vigorously as in the last 5 months.  What at one time fit neatly into a few organizer boxes has now taken over an entire corner of our family room.  Not so neatly as before, and my  organizer boxes have become any old box, gift bag, or grocery bag that comes across my path. Thank goodness for a label maker!

Thirty-One Gifts has recently helped improve my organization skills – or at least helped my disarray look prettier.  And I spend a little time most days – well,  some days – trying to get the chaos under control.  For me, who on the  inside would like to even alphabetize my M & Ms, the disorder outside creates stress, depression, and a lack of motivation to create.

All my plans last spring to achieve some sort of order over the summer find themselves forgotten, lost in the clutter, all but drowned out by the silence of disappointment and failure.

But I still have hope!  My wonderful hubby has told me for weeks I’ve been giving Satan a ride on my back, and its time to throw him off, and stand up straight, walking with Jesus instead of bent over from the burden of dismay and self-doubt.  Among negative comments and well-meaning “suggestions” from others who barely know my name let alone my heart, my sweetheart has always been my encourager, seeing talent where I don’t, dreams where others can’t.

I have so many beads, so many design ideas, and a group of family and friends whose encouragement and belief in me is surpassed only by that of my Savior.  Why would I ever let a hater and loser like Satan overrule them with his lies?


3 thoughts on “So Many Beads, So Little Confidence

  1. I can relate to having those feelings. I go thru periods where I ask myself what was I thinking starting over again raising babies? I am old.. I am tired… what was I thinking? When is MY time? That is when I am listening to the lies of satan. Then God reminds me thru someone or something how it is all in His plan and I see the blessings and gosh, I cannot imagine my life without these girls! I am making a difference and I am doing His work loving them. They give me reason to get up and go to work and plan things for them and live each day to the fullest! You hang on! This ride called life has hills and valleys and bumps along the way but with God at the wheel, we will make it! Love you and miss you!

  2. You answered God’s call when these girls needed a mommy! Your impact on their lives – and the lives of many others – is cannot be measured by our limited abilities. Love and miss you, too, girlie.

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